Sue’s World

Conkers,
Clonkers,
Prickly gonads in frilly leaf underwear,
Waiting to drop.

Suspended reminders,
That these balmy, aimless, dreaming days,
Face warmed,
Bird song,
Will die,
Cold.

Ah but then,
New world,
Crisp,
Crispy,
Icy.

Walking,
Puffing clouds,
Swishing feet,
Clonk,
Brown, glossy, peeping,
Conkers

Boy to male Teaching Assistant, peering at the badge describing his name and position “Does that say Teaching Assassin?”

Child 1 “I like your top miss”
Miss (rather flattered) “Thank you, I like it too, it has pretty flowers doesn’t it?”
Child 2 “I like your trousers”
Miss (feeling really trendy) “Thank you”
Child 3 “I like your shoes Miss”
Miss (Now on top of the world) “Wow, thanks, I must be the best dressed girl in town!”
Child 4 “My Nan’s got that top”

Me “What did you do at school today?”
Mavis “Can’t arember”
Me “Did you do any reading”
Mavis “No”
Me “How about numbers”
Mavis “No”
Me “Well you must have done something”
Mavis, after a pause “We did shapes”
Me “Oh, what kind of shapes”
Mavis “A ball shape”
Me “Can you remeber what a ball shape is called?”
Mavis “A sphere”
Me “Yes, well done. What other shapes did you learn about?”
Mavis “There was a triangular something. I can’t arember what it was called, something like a jail but it ended with an M”
Me, struggling here, “Was it a tetrahedron?”
Mavis, scornfully, “No, that’s not a jail!”
I thought for a while and then asked what it looked like.
“Well, it was long and it had a triangle on each end.”

“Oh. A Prism!” Brilliant

I now have a new job. I no longer have a career. My job involves primary school children and is very entertaining. I can’t give any details about my job as it wouldn’t be appropriate however I see no reason why I should not regale you with a few amusing episodes as they crop up.