Child Quote 8

Mavis gets older and the quotes become more risque!

Whizz, Mavis and I went for a small outing to a farm park, in the rain, 40 minutes drive away. This was not one of our more successful ideas but at least we were out as a family.

Mavis equipped herself with all the necessary gadgets to while away the travelling time. The I-phone had a version of The Simms on it.

I don,t know if you are familiar with The Simms. I only know what I have heard during the running commentary provided by Mavis for the entire 40 minute journey. It seems one adopts a persona and becomes a member of a virtual community. Mavis decided to be a nasty person. She then proceeded to enter other people’s houses via unlocked back doors, steal their food, use their toilets and sleep in their beds, sometimes while they were present.

Occasionally she would be asked questions on the touch screen like ‘What would you like to do?’ with several options. It was one of these questions that made Whizz and I prick up our ears.

‘Do you want to Woo Hoo?’ Mavis, read from the screen.

‘What’s Woo Hoo?’ I asked innocently.

‘I think it’s sex.’ replied Mavis dubiously.

A few questions followed and we decided that yes, Woo Hoo was sex. I eyed Whizz ‘Is this suitable for a 10-year-old?’ I muttered under my breath.

‘Maybe not.’ came the reply. But there wasn’t much we could do.

Mavis continued to sleep with anyone she could, and Whizz and I couldn’t help grinning at the commentary.

‘I’m sleeping with Johnny.’

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’

‘Oh yes, it’s OK, we got married. Johnny says he thinks I’m getting romantic’

‘Why does he think that?’

‘I’ve just chosen ‘Hot Smooch.’ A pause as the screen is activated. ,Do you want to Woo Hoo?’

another pause then:

‘Touch anywhere to continue.’