Introspection

In life we meet many types of people. Some are easy to like, others take a bit more tolerance.  That includes me. Many people love me, but others dislike me. I take some getting used to, being a loud and opinionated human being.

Lately I have been tried by a certain person at work. This person, I think, who is like me but in extremis, and that is always difficult. To be confronted by ones own failings is cause for introspection.

A captive American alligator in a defensive position. Note that the palatal valve is closed. 2004, Niels Elgaard Larsen
A captive American alligator in a defensive position. Note that the palatal valve is closed. 2004, Niels Elgaard Larsen

in Nichirin Buddhism we are taught to value each person as precious, and to welcome hardship as a test of our inner strength.  In addition to this we must never castigate ourselves for our failings but first and foremost, accept and love ourselves. This sounds a pretty tricky balancing act, but the latter part is more helpful than I can say. If I love myself, I don’t feel threatened by the behaviour of others. This prevents me from feeling defensive and acting that way. It really works. OK. I’m not perfect. Sometimes I forget and feel angry, hurt and all the rest but I sense myself getting better.

cooked-breakfast

So, on to something lovely: Our lodger was 50 today. His wife had conspired with me to provide a full English breakfast, accompanied (a touch of my own) by a breakfast muffin with one candle. I also took delivery of several presents from his children, which he opened while they watched via Facetime. It was a lovely way to start the day. I was going to make dinner for him – although he didn’t know this. He has decided to go home to his family for the evening. A far better idea on a special day.

Meanwhile, one of our regular guests, due here at any minute, sent me a text. ‘It has been a year since I first came to stay with you. I’m bringing Prosecco to celebrate’.

Today I can feel good without having to try – apart from the fact that this was to be a non-alcohol week. Ah well, maybe next week.

Facebook
Twitter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *